So much left to say

It was so hard after last night
I don't get to hear your voice again
I'm losing grip of reality
Because your life has been ripped away from me
I loved you
I still don't know why
I didn't pull away the gun
I have so much more to say
True you abused me
With verbal slurs and a few hits
But I still loved you
I just wish you were sober
But I guess its over
Your blood still stains my pale flesh
Your still stuck in my mind
In my memorize, I hold onto you
Along with our ring
I still don't know why you let yourself die
Why you pulled the trigger
Why you didn't kiss me one last time
Why you took me to the old bridge
Why you committed suicide
There's still so much more for me to say
But only to your grave
The priest words bring no comfort
Not even my bottle of whiskey
Nor the pills with my rum
Nor the blade to my heart
Since you been gone, everything has been
Falling apart.
What is next..
So much more to say
But only to a fresh new grave
Covered in blood red roses
And soaked in a blanket of tears
Your death beckons me to your grave
Should I follow
Because I'm getting tired
Of crying to a grave
With so much more to say
Like...goodbye