My pain unexplained

Staring into an empty room which means nothing to me,
i close my eyes and reminisce and suddenly i see.
That all my life,I've slowly been torn,really torn apart,
and now all i am left with,is an empty heart.
I don't know what this feeling is,it's something i don't recognize,
i don't know how to explain it so i stay in my disguise.
A smile is placed upon my face,to show that I'm not weak,
i laugh on the outside but happiness inside is what i seek.
Sometimes i feel my eyes drifting into a world i want to be,
and i would give anything to be happy,content and free.
But right now something is missing,i want to feel i belong,
i really don't like this feeling,I'm finding it hard to stay strong.
It is so frustrating that i can't say how i feel,
even though i try so hard,these wounds never heal.