Ripped apart

by Godoftheblackflame   Oct 19, 2006


My eyes look down at my heart
bleeding as it shall every ever be
it can all be traced back to the very start
when i said it could just be you and me

you and me couldn't stop hugging
i didn't see the sudden train coming
the lights blinded me
and i couldn't start running

It ran me down
and it ripped me apart
but don't think Ive left town
I'm still in there somewhere deep deep down

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by ImmortalKitty

    I can see the emotion here, however I do have a few suggestions about the flow and the rythym. You might try reading this peice outloud and see where the changes need to be made, it should flow evenly as if it were music from your heart.,

  • 17 years ago

    by mistressxsork

    I know what that is like. woo.. well. Great emotion and depth. A wonderful job on flow. Good work.

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