Beware of Domestic Werewolf

How is it that
I can never get you
To shave your face
Yet every week you still manage
To leave your whole beard in the sink.

I'm warning you.
I'm dangerous.
So be sure you don't interrupt me.
And stop nodding your head
When I know you're not listening.

I know for a fact you weren't,
Because I worked a flying elephant into
The accounts of my day, and you didn't
Even ask
What color it was.

I should warn you before
The next time I tell you to pick up
Your floor wardrobe.

Next time we exchange some
You always!'s and
Give me just one example!'s,
You must run out of the house.

For that's when I am
No longer accountable for my own actions.

People like me
In relationships like mine
Have been known to kill their lovers.
Waking up in a feesk of shed hair
And warm blood.

Claws just starting to sink
Back into the Hades of fingertips.
Ears no longer spires.
For the less evolved,
The coccyx will be throbbing.

It's all the little things really,
That keep me from sleeping with you.
But even when you try,
Sometimes I just can't seem to get far enough.
And I notice the bed gets smaller every year.