The words of deciet

I haven't been ready
to write what i want to say
things have been swimming in my head
even still to this day

the hurt was so intense
at the time it was hard to breath
my trust i put in you
my heart now deceived

you were my life's pearl
my little shinning star
now something torn and ruined
left with a scar

i tried to keep it kool
knew i could never leave
i didn't know what to do
this i could not believe

i went overseas
the whole time missing you
wishing i was home
together making it through

you were always scared
I'd leave you for someone else
it often caused problems
inside myself

but i never said anything
just smiled and said ok
i knew i was lucky to have you
knew you'd never turn away

sometimes you got silly
maybe not always fare
but I'd always reassure you
because i knew you cared

i never questioned you
never thought for one second
you'd be the one to cheat on me
so hard to think what happened

my friends say i deserve better
and to some extent i do
never would i pick
this to be like you

they say I'm much stronger
that i can survive without you
that it'll take time
but eventually I'll get through

i never said much
not half of what i wanted to
even though you deserved it
all i could think about was you

so this poem is to let you know
how deeply you have hurt me
i know its hard to read this
but i have to make you see

never have i loved
anyone like you
no one makes me whole
quite like you do

but every time i kiss you
all i can see she is her
every time you touch me
it begins to get harder

sometimes it's ok
i forget all thats happened
but when I'm left with my thoughts
my heart begins it's poison

i hate you for what you've done
but that's something I'll have to battle
something I'll have to lock away
ignore this potential evil

i would never say any of this
directly to your face
for i care about you too much
to make you realise this disgrace

I'm a fool for staying with you
though a fool i am in love
so I'll keep looking for shelter
from the heavens and skies above