Life

I tend hate life.
i just do.
i sometimes cry myself to sleep.
and i often feel unloved.
and just the slightess thing can make me feel that way
not hearing i love you.
not getting a hug back
avoidment
someone fussing at me.
etc.
when i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m upset i normally curl up and listen to writing on the walls or something i like.
i tend to block people out of my business as well.
i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve been asked WHATS WRONG so much before that i screamed and ran away from all those people.
its just going to make it worse.
i don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t think i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ll ever trust a guy except my dad.
probably not even my husband.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'cause guys are one of the things that make me feel awful.
well. more like love itself.
i don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t think anyone will truely love me.
if they do then all that wishing and praying i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve done has worked off.
i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve been made fun of my whole life
and its not stopping anytime soon
i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m been called fat and ugly.
and thats just what i can remember.
i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve had people say remarks about me like positive ones. and they were totally sarcastic.
i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve had people yell EWWWW at my face.
and it really does bother me
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'
thts not true.
in my opinion. words speak louder than actions.
but it can work either way.
actions upset me just as much.
and i admit that.
and supposedly. your supposed to love yourself and if you can\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t love yourself that you won\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t love or whatever.
then i guess i can\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t love.
and i don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t know why i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m typing this.
i don\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'t get compliments often. its like no one can find anything to compliment me on.
and i compliment people often. so yeah.
i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m not afraid to speak my mind.
supposedly what goes around comes around.
then i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'d probably know a lot of people who will have it coming.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"karma will eat you alive. i promise.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\"
i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'ve tried to be stronger about my \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'problem\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'
it overcomes me.
people have literally seen me break down.
in school.
and it sucks.
thats all i have to say.
cry. tell me its deep. whatever.