I miss you

I just want things the way they were before...
going through some bullshit
and knocking on each others doors..
standing close under the lights
staying up all god damn night...
even if we do fight
things used to just be so right...
you can put me through pain
yes i know i am ashame...
being pathetic is my name
I'm just all about playing the game..
so no there is no shame...
being addicted is all worth it in the end
i just hope you take some time to understand...
that I'm not so perfect after all
there are those days i take my fall..
leaning up against a wall..
shaking and scared, i tell myself its a nightmare..
wishing with all the hope i can..
for someone to grab a hold of my hand...
to close my eyes and put me to sleep
to dig a hole, a hole so deep...
so when i awaken ill know I'm fine
because i knew you were once mine..
you were a friend to love not to share
and yes i know you really did care...
after all this time thats flown by
i still sit and wipe and wonder why..
cant wait till the day i die
just so i can figure out why i took time to wine...
over a boy who everyone said wasn't worth my time..
now i realize deep down inside of me
how much courage it builds up to be..
everything falls down in the end
just promise me you'll always be my friend...
but ill still hold my head high
knowing that i really did try...
to keep us together forever..
but sometimes things don't work out
and yeah i did scream and shout...
just for that special guy
and this is no lie...
so keep walking that path
cause life goes on, on so fast!

-by Jessica DellaVecchio
9/14/05

(dedicated )