She Sits

She sits at the computer the bright distracting screen staring back at her and all she sees is herself.

She looks around her room the bright blue and green walls clothes all around an unmade bed a desk covered in paper Not emptied garbage makeup scattered about her dresser and she realizes this is what her life is...a mess

She watches attentively as her life unfolds before her and she wonders if this is who she is or who she wants to be

she sits in her room with her mind wondering in unmentionable places,yet she still doesn't know who or where she is.

She looks out the window to see many stars spread unevenly about the sky and she wonders.....she wonders

She stares at the mirror and the unattractive figure staring back at her and she wonders,why

She listens to the blaring of the loud hateful obscenities in her music and she wonders, how

She sees herself somewhere in a place far away a place so untouchable,so perfect,so clean,so beautiful,so amazing,all she can say is wow this must be heaven

She laughs because theres no way she could be in heaven,she still has a whole life to live,theres still grad and she has to get married and have kids and she has yet to fall in love her life cannot be over and theres just no way she could be in heaven.

She screams,she screams so loud her voice is no longer active,she screams for help at the top of her lungs she screams the loudest to the highest point her voice has ever met ,but still no one hears her....no one

She cries,Uninvited tears filling her dark hazel eyes transforming them into a bloodshot waterfall all she sees through the tears while she looks down from the highest cloud in the sky is...the people she loves, sitting,crying,laughing,staring,seeing...she sees them feeling yet she cannot help them or laugh with them because she chose to leave
She leaves.....

She sits, she looks, she watches, she wonders, She stares,She sees,She laughs,She screams,She cries....She leaves