The Night

by Mousie   Nov 4, 2006


Rage has burned inside her
Anger turned to fear,
The fire strikes her unseen eyes
Lighting up her tears.

Water droplets drape her
In a blanket of dismay,
Pain, it pierces through her
Pride begins to fray.

Guilty as a sinner
Reason turns to shame,
She cannot face this dismal night
Dependant she became.

Enclosing her in darkness
This cloud of hatred be,
Curtained torture is this night
For none the world to see.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Louis

    The way you used language in this poem makes it have something particularly strong. I've given you a 5/5 for the language
    The concept behind the poem is not clear though; why is the protagonist angry?

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonesomeme

    Fabulous poem. My favorite part was:

    "Enclosing her in darkness
    This cloud of hatred be,
    Curtained torture is this night
    For none the world to see."

    Best wishes, 5/5. Unattractive1

  • 17 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Amazing! =]
    Short and simple, yet gets the message across.
    You put a lot of emotions into this one and I can tell.
    Wonderful flow and excellent vocabulary. Keep it up! 5/5

    Stephanie

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    Wow...this is my favourite of your's so far.
    It was such a beautiful write...I loved the rhyme scheme, imagery, flow, everything.
    Perfect.

  • 17 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    Excellent job. From the very moment I read it, I knew it was gonna be good. Great flow as well.

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