Hmm I guess you do use rhyme patterns...this is a very intense poem, which is a good thing. I like intense stuff. You used good imagery here, and painted a pretty effective picture in my mind.

But your strength in this was the ending. having all the lines in the last stanza rhyme added power and a beat to the poem that definitely made it good. I suggest a featured add

This is one of my favorites reads of all your your writes! I liked the rhyme scheme and flow it was excellent. The poem was short and sweet but very powerful and thought provoking to the reader

5/5 JUST TO GET THE BALL ROLLING. xD

This ones really good...i can relate a lot. 5/5

This is fantastic.The first two stanzas are great, but it is the third stanza that has such power and impact-very powerful.Very well written and suh power and impact.

GaryJ

Just brilliant. i love your poems x

This poem is a little disturbing, I really like it. It's super powerful, expecially the last stanza.

Very good write. awesome flow. i enjoyed it!

Holy crap. are you really only 13?? this poem is amazing, so are the others of yours ive read. you really have alot of talent!! keep writing. <3<3

Holy hannah (haha I didn't mean to use your name there)! This poem is flippin awesome! It painted the darkest picture! I love it! I escpecially the last two lines. Those were amazing, a perfect way to end a great poem!

Another one... It is excellent, every stanza is majestic but second is still my favorite. You have great talent and this poem is superb.
5/5