Getting Away With Murder

by N J Thornton   Nov 11, 2006


In a visionary second,
bloody eyes at pin- point pose
a psyche of scratches and bubbles,
in a white noise trance.

A crooked finger hovers,
heeding the neighbouring
firecracker;
and holding for a cogent
bang…

A crack and a shimmer
in the mind, the eyes,
from the pistol,
and wavering with the stars.
The amazing lights, in a vivid flash,
are gone.

Updated version - after a substantial amount of comments suggesting expansion, I added a middle stanza.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Esther

    Lol, i dont think its meant to be, but i found this poem kinda funny! soz i have a strange sense of humour! but i loved it anyway!!

  • 18 years ago

    by ellewen

    I really like the language you use! The imagery is absolutely incredible. I like the descriptions allot, btu i was disappointed when it ended. I would suggest expanding it a bit.

  • 18 years ago

    by Mark

    A short but effective poem. I liked the way it just seemed to fit in with the length (if that makes sense).

    Very well done.

  • 18 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I really enjoyed that. I like how you conveyed the actions and emotions vividly in a few short lines and stanzas.

    Nice work.

  • 18 years ago

    by Tammie

    This is very well written. The style in which you wrote it made it even better. I had to read it twice to get it, but that's probably just me. =P Your word choice was great and you did a great job in writing this. =] 5/5

    Tammie

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