My life

Her body lays beaten upon a lonely hill
With tear stains on her cheeks and body fluids spilled
And her eyes are still open still blood shot in pain
And her heart is still beating each beat in vain
And she cant cure this illness, she gives in again
And as hard as she tries these cuts she cant end
And with each slit in her arm she feels her soul die
But with each dieing touch she forgets how she cries
And thats what she craves, this escape from her tears
But they come back each day drenched in her fears
So she does it again and tries to escape
This hell on earth that she did create
And its all of her fault that she feels this way,
If she just let it go she could be okay
Or thats what they tell her as they increase the grams
But the medication never worked, for its all just a scam
but it doesnt matter, she doesnt care anymore
They could drug her up till her body was sore
And it wouldnt change this world that shes made
Shes too far gone now for this reality to fade
So she waits all alone for her heart to cave in
And the poison to seep out from her sinful drenched skin
But it wont be long now for she feels nothing at all
And the worlds turning black and her blood has all stalled
And her lungs seem to have frozen alone in their breathe
And the movements have stopped pouring from her chest
Yet her eyes still lay open still blood shot in pain
But no longer does her sad lonely heart have to beat in vain
For now she lays dead upon her lonely hill
Her body torn to shreds by her own twisted will
And as the night ends the chained dawn will break
And theyll find her tortured body and think what a mistake
And theyll call her a suicide caused by depression
And thats all theyll see for she left no confession
For soon shell be forgotten and the hill will be cleaned
But her story will lie there forever, like her pain, unseen.

*Thanks for reading, I know to most this is just a poem, but to me it's my life. It had been almost two years since I had hurt myself and I thought everything was ok, until my world came crashing down on me. So again now I am addicted to the sight of watching myself bleed and nothing is helping me stop. If there's anyone out there who might help please e-mail me. Please someone help.
Always-
Shattered and Broken.*