Sometimes it just hurts.
everything..
everything is wrong.
nothing is right.
i just want to peel myself out of my skin..
shrivel up and die.
so my mind and spirit can go.
just go..
away..
where no one is there.
where i can push everyone away.
everything away..
i dont have to deal with it.
none of it..
the dying inside slowly rewinds,
rewinds so i am alive again.
music in my head..
wild, hard,
screaming at first.
overwhelming..
cant control..
feeling abandoned..
everything is too fast..or not fast enough..
no one cares..
no one understands..
please dont bring me down now.
dont criticize me..
dont make it worse..
music slows..
softens..
relaxing..
from my eyes it pours like rain..
relieved..
snap back to body..
still hurts..
more understanding..
more sure of the world..
of myself...
