Friendship?

Friendship is supposed to be something mutual
We both have to work to keep it
I cant do it all!!!

Tears stream down my flushed cheeks
All I want is a best friend that wont leave me!!
What the hell is wrong with me?!
Why do they always leave me here alone?
At least the ones that didnt care went without a fight
But the one friend who finally cared at all is . . .
Is drawing it out
Making it so painful that I can hardly stand!

I trusted you!!!
And now you have a girl friend
And absolutely no time for me
I thought friends came first!
You convinced me to stop cutting
Now just how betrayed you make me feel
Makes me cut deeper than ever
Just trying to get my stomach to stop churning
It twists and turns
With all the emotions that I dont tell you about

I am so . . .
Hell there isnt evan a word for this!
Angry, betrayed, frustrated . . .
The list goes on
I just want to break apart into a billion peaces
And do everything in my power to just be happy
I want to do things for me now
I can blame others now
I dont fight with everything I have for strangers
And forget my self again and again.

The things you wanted to help me with
You did now I am a different person
I dont need you to hold me up
I can stand on my own now
But I still stumble from time to time
I still need a friend to trust and depend on

You know no one has ever loved me as much as you do
Or did ?
I dont even know anymore