What am i suppose to do

We said we wouldn't let it
happen to us
and what do we do
we give it a gateway to go on threw
i love him
i know that hurts you
especially when you hear him say
i love you
and know it isn't to you
i love him but
i love you
can i not have both
and live life freely
don't go astray because i
wont let it end this way
i need you
even when you don't want to look
at me
don't go away
i don't mean to hurt you
but i love him
what am i suppose to do