Thank you

by tomuchhurt   Nov 24, 2006


*I know it looks long but trust me its worth the read*

I want you,
don't you see?
I need you,
To be with me!

When I look at you,
I see my guy.
No matter how cute you are,
Or how much you can buy.

I didn't love you because of your,
Looks, Charm or money.
I loved you because you were,
Smart, Sweet and funny.

I loved you because you saw me,
When no one else did.
You picked me up,
From where I hid.

You showed me love,
You took my hand.
You gave me more than,
Anyone ever could.

Then you took away my heart,
When you said goodbye.
You wiped away my tears,
As I started to cry.

You told me "We'd be friends,"
And that you would "love me forever."
Even though,
We weren't together.

I looked into your eyes,
And my tears started to pour.
You gave me one last kiss,
And made my spirit soar.

You told me not to cry,
You said everything would be alright
I just stared at you and wondered,
Who would hold me tight?

Who would love me like you did?
Who will change my ways?
Who will be there for me,
Through my terrible days?

Ill try to understand,
Ill try to let go.
I don't think thats going to happen,
I just want you to know.

I loved you more than anything,
God could ever give.
Id sacrifice myself,
Just so you could live.

I would be there for eternity,
Standing by your side.
Id sit by your grave forever,
Even if you died.

I guess all I want to say,
And all I want to do.
Is give you a big kiss and a hug,
And say "thank you."

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Carley

    I love this poem!!! lol wow you are really good at writing... this one really caught me... prolly cause this exact same thing happened except the guy hates me now... eh but i hope this one is true!!! have fun!!!!

  • 17 years ago

    by ALLEN CEM

    VERY CUTE

  • 17 years ago

    by Bridget

    Woww tht was really good and it was definitely worth the read!! well dun 5/5 :D

  • 17 years ago

    by Pianist

    I enjoyed the fact that there was a conclusion.

    There are a few past tense problems within your poem. For example...

    I didnt love you because of your,
    Looks, Charm or money.
    I loved you because your,
    Smart, Sweet and funny

    "your" in the third line should be "you were."

    You showed me love,
    You took my hand.
    You gave me more than,
    Anyone ever can.

    "Can" should be "could." I realize you were following a rhyme scheme, but it changes your tense and is grammatically incorrect.

    Excluding the last quatrain, the six stanzas before it did not influence the theme of your poem.

    When writing you must always remember there is a theme to every poem. Your theme in this poem was thanking whoever this young man was, and the content within should support that theme. Every line that doesn't explain why you are thanking the young man is irrelevant.

    Remember poetry is a small form of story telling, and within every story there is a beginning, middle, and end.

  • 17 years ago

    by V

    Kamille,

    Very nice poem! The best always come from the heart, and your ability to make the words become alive is fantastic!

    You wrote true, when you said I would like it.

    -V

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