No matter how much I love you, you still do this to me.

by XTaintedxBeautyX   Nov 26, 2006


I love you. What is that supposed to mean? You've told me you loved me. How many others have you told it to as well? I want to believe it. But is it really true? When I say it to you. I've never been this sure.

But the thing is, you don't know how much I love you and I don't know how to tell you. You mean the world to me, if I lost you now I'd feel dead. I would take any type of death just for you. If you were in danger and someone wanted to kill you, I'd make them kill me first. But most of all, If you leave me far away. I'd feel empty, lost, and alone. I would have no one left here for me and how would we be able to communicate?

If you happen to leave me for the littlest of time, I'm afraid you will find someone new, someone better. Can you tell me you won't and mean it? I'm afraid you'd feel lonely and cheat. But I shouldn't think that way, should I? If you tell me you'd be back for me, I would ask you how can I know it for sure. If you promised me, I would lie to you and tell you I believe you. But the truth is I don't. I think one day you'll leave me for a little while and never come back for me, never keep in contact and completely erase me from your mind.

Would I be able to stop you from leaving? or could I go with you. what am I saying I can't go, I would love to go through it with you, be there for you every minute. but if I were to leave my friends who would be there for them? Everyone has left me, Everyone I could ever talk to. There is no one to make sure I'm doing okay. No one for me to go to. I don't want that for them because I know it is hell.

So what is my purpose to you now? what do I mean to you? Please tell me because I want to know. I love you for sure but I'm not sure you love me. Why do you have to leave me at this state. Everyone is now gone. You don't know how much I want you to stay here with me. You don't know how much you mean to me & I'm afraid you will never know. Please I'm begging you not to go.

This is all my fault. Don't say it isn't because it is. I will make it right somehow don't you worry. Just remember me & keep your promise. No more broken promises. No more getting hurt. Come back for me like I'd come back for you. I don't want you to go, but you won't listen to me. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. So I guess this is goodbye, no not goodbye. Goodbye's are usually forever. I will see you soon my love, Everyday your gone, I write another letter. Forever will you be remember, waiting for the next time I will see you. Waiting is all I can do. Sorry if I'm gone when you get back, it just means I couldn't handle all of this hitting me at once and I gave up. I will never give up on our love though.

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