My will of pills

by Kally   Dec 6, 2006


I take some water
I take some pills
I take it good
I take it well
As I swallow the last of the pills
I start to write all of my wills
as I write this long letter
I hope everyone's life will be a little better
on my cheek the tears start to form
everyone tells me they regret the day i was born
I can feel my self growing weak
I feel the tears pouring down me cheek
I'm growing tired and I'm falling down
All i can see is black and brown

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by kayla T

    Kally- you are really good. keeep it up.

  • 17 years ago

    by kayla T

    Kally
    you are good at writting poems. keep it up!!! :]

  • 17 years ago

    by ŘÅÇĦ♥

    Okay here is what the changes that I see need to be done. some MAY be incorrect if they are I'm sorry!

    I take some water,
    I take some pills.
    I take it good,
    I take it well.
    As I swallow the last of the pills;
    I start to write all of my wills.
    As I write this long letter;
    I hope everyone's life will be a little better.
    On my cheek the tears start to form;
    Everyone tells me they regret the day i was born.
    I can feel my self growing weak,
    I feel the tears pouring down me cheek.
    I'm growing tired and I'm falling down,
    All i can see is black and brown.

    Very good though. I liked it all but the very last sentence. I don't know why you would see brown so it seemed to me like a pushed ryhming word.

    Rachel

  • 17 years ago

    by BehindThisSmilex

    I love this poem

    and thanks for the comment

  • 17 years ago

    by Tiffani

    I really like ur poems, i think ur a fab writer and we have a lil bit of the same styles in our writing, well i think ur great and i think ud love this one poem of mine, its called For You... (A Suicide Note) check it out if ud like
    with love