In The Now, At Last

Restless and confused again,
My troubles run too far;
Trying to unlock the den,
Wherein abides my scar

The years that I had spent
Walking only by their side,
Held many a fond moment,
Still cradled safe inside

I wish I didn't feel it;
These dull, yet aching, throbs
Unsure what's been re-lit,
But it's drowning in my sobs

Guess this means I care,
Even though I've let it die;
My love now just a prayer,
They must never see me cry.

Unable to change things,
I decide to live my life
Although it sometimes stings,
To see them with such strife

No longer will I wallow,
Hiding in the memories
There's a road I want to follow;
I'm fed up with stormy seas

With gratitude and awe,
I accept this second chance;
My heart begins to thaw,
Warming up with this new dance

I looked the wrong direction,
But my friends still cared for me;
Now I'll give them full affection,
Of neglect, I stand guilty

Remorse tinges my bliss,
When I think of all I've spent
On those whom now I miss,
Yet were never worth the rent.

I'm humbled by the lessons,
That I've learned from their decay,
Though I still have many questions,
Maybe I'll know why someday.