I thought

I thought I was over this
I thought I was done with this stage
I thought that I got over this
I thought it went away with age

But I guess it doesn't
Because here it is in my life
Along with my temtation
to reach for that knife
I really want to get better
I really want to live
I really want to be happy
and not this suicidal kid

I thought I had it under control
I thought this I had beat
I thought I was happy
I thought I got out of the depression seat

But I guess things change
And I guess things go wrong
No matter how hard you try
Or for how long
I guess no one really cares do they
I guess you never know what goes in their head
You never know that they are thinking
You never know if they want you dead

I thought things were going to be better
I thought things were okay
I thought I wanted to live
I thought alive I wanted to stay

But you never know how long
Your little happy streak will last
It could be nice and long
Or it could end really fast
I wish you could feel
I wish you could see
I wish you could know
what it is like to be me

I thought I was fixed
I thought all the lessons I was taught
I thought I was all better
The many things that I thought