I Knew

I've hid a problem that no one knew,
With the more hurt I had, the more it grew.
It started on the weekends, just for something to do,
But weekends led to weekdays, thats when I really knew.
I knew I had a problem, one greater than my control,
And if I wanted to fix it, I had to search my soul.
I knew I needed help, but I was too afraid to seek,
I thought that I could fix it, but I found I was too weak.
Slowly I started slipping, into deep despair,
I thought I wasn't worth it, and how life was so unfair.
I began to see my life, flashing in front of me,
I saw a desperate woman, staring back at me.
I knew that it was time, time for me to heal,
But I started being afraid, afraid of what I'd feel.
I didn't want to feel, the emotions
I kept inside
Or come to the realization, of how all I did was lie.
I faced my emotions most, when coming off of drugs,
Slowly unburing myself, from all the holes I've dug.
Day by day I strive, to make amends to all,
Hoping I wouldn't slip, and for someone to catch my fall.
Being here today is a miracle in its own,
And everyday I pray, because I'm not alone