I tried
I really did.
I looked into the mirror
hard at myself
I tried to use the harsh
emotion that I felt inside
to help my eyes form tears.
It didn't work
It's like my eyes have malfunctioned
I believe my tears were wasted
wasted on the pain driven from my past experience
My eyes have constantly filled with tears over the pain that I used to have
I have apparently dried them out
So many tears have fallen that I don't have any left
It was like a soundtrack that won't play because it has fingerprints on it.
I kept pressing play Over and Over in hopes that this time, maybe this time it could work.
My eyes could fill with tears so that my pain can finally be released.
My heart has been touched by many.
But sometimes, it seems as though my heart has been scratched and hurt many more times.
My heart was like that soundtrack but those fingerprints
were instead scratches
on my heart.
With Cd's, if they are scratched, they will never work right again.
It seemed like my eyes worked the same way because of the number of scratches on it.
It's kind of pitiful
even using eye drops..
you would think that if I put moisture INTO my eye,
that my tear ducts would take the hint and make just one tear..
but NO!
If I want to cry...
I will have to just cry on the inside because my tear ducts aren't working anymore.
I was suffering from dry eyes.
Which means I'm suffering from heavy heart.
and I'm suffering from pain.
Which means I'm suffering from confusion.
Which means I'm suffering from low self-esteem.
Having no idea of self worth.
The thing is..
I can only blame myself
I want to fix myself up before i get caught up in all of the things that I'm suffering from, and can no longer focus.
But I fear that it's too late.
In other words I fear that it will never happen because I have no idea where to start.
