The last line in the first stanza doenst flow..

but besides that...

holy friggen shit!!
its amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!best poem you have ever written im not even kidding!

your so gonna win that contest

Wooow! what can i say? amazing poem!!!! the description and everything.... i simply loved it!!! especially the last stanza, so sad but so beautifully written!!
i just got one question : did u win the contest becca talks about? i havent read many poems here but im sure you deserved it!!!
anyway, keep up the great job!!! :D

Comment #1:

So sorry it took so long to comment...I'm so busy! But you did such a great job and congrats on placing!!! I absolutely loved the last line...you are so talented! :)
~Midnight Sun

Aw! this poem is so amazing! it's sad because i go to private school and everybody does look the same. I really enjoy your work keep it up!

You have an amazing talent. your writing is wonderful and you make everything flow so well. none of your lines seem forced. great writing! 5/5

monkey?

This one is incredible. i love it. 5/5

Extremely beautifully written..5 out of 5..i reallly liked the words you used and the end just rounded the whole poem up perfectly..the rhyming was also really rhythmatic and flowing.awesome job..i saw the vivid picture,(monkey)..lol?

I liked the idea of "porcelin tears" to portray her made-up face. You went through the process of covering up with make up quite well, showing what each part symbolised.
When you said in the fourth stanza that it's been going on for weeks, did you mean the feeling make up is a cover up or she's only been putting make up on for a few weeks?
It just seemed a little odd to say she's only been wearing make up for a matter of weeks...or was this just said to rhyme with "cheeks" - forced rhyme isn't good.
I've noticed a couple of times in here and in your poem "underneath her skin" (although I forgot to mention it in that comment,) that when you have conjunctions between words such as "is not" and "it is" you forget to add the apostrophe...just thought you may want to correct that.
Thanks for sharing.

Great poem, being a male i stile applaud your work. 5/5

WOWWW. AMAZING! HOnestly, that was so beautiful.

& Very real, for a lot of people.. I can deffinitley relate to it.

It was so sad.. but so beautiful at the same time. ;[ I really loved it. Seriously. AHHH. E f f i n' amazing, girl..

I adored the last stanza. -PERFECT- ending.

Bri.x

Great poem. the descrpitions were great and your writing has once again amazed me. keep up the great work!! 5/5

I can totally relate. i luv the breaking of the tears at the end. amazingly written 5/5