Comments : Dying

  • 13 years ago

    by Allisha Fox

    Good poem. I like it and can relate to it

  • 13 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This poem is also fantastic, I know all about heartbreak and the pain that follows for a lot of time after, you just have to move on and stay strong, great write 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by x.Athame.x

    I love your wording, and also the emotion that flows from this poem. It really is a beautiful and haunting piece. I particularly liked these lines:

    "Broken glasses of alcohol lay around my bed
    Scattered are the pieces of my broken heart"

    For some reason they just stuck out in my mind. Another amazing piece. *5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Cherise

    Heartbreaking poem, but amazeing :)

    "My playlist is stuck repeating all of our sad songs
    I wish they wiped away the tears like you once did"

    those lines would have to be my favorite.

    great job and keep it up:)

  • 13 years ago

    by J Lau

    Great write. I particularly liked "The bomb had gone off way before the time was set
    With a trigger as unpredictable as time itself". Loved the choice of words and the image you painted to your readers. Great work! 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by BrixGoesxRawr

    Darien!! Wow. You seize to amaze me. Everytime i read your poetry.. They get more and more amazing-er.. Lol, don't think that's a word but IT IS NOW! XD. Anyways.. This was just so amazing. It was very heartbreaking, but so beautifully written. It truly touched me.

    My favorite lines were:

    "My playlist is stuck repeating all of our sad songs
    I wish they wiped away the tears like you once did"

    &

    "The bomb had gone off way before the time was set
    With a trigger as unpredictable as time itself"

    ^^ These lines just really caught my eye!

    Beautiful.x

    Keep it up, babe.

    Bri.x

  • 13 years ago

    by Melissa

    Wow, I've been reading a lot of sad poetry this morning and this one just broke my heart...

    "The bomb had gone off way before the time was set
    With a trigger as unpredictable as time itself"
    ^^^ Great line!

    One suggestion: In the third stanza the second and third line both use the word "heart". Perhaps if you replaced the second one with chest or something to that effect it would flow a bit better...

    Either way, awesome powerful poem!

  • 13 years ago

    by Sandra D

    "My playlist is stuck repeating all of our sad songs
    I wish they wiped away the tears like you once did"
    * i know other people have already said it, but i absolutely love those lines!!! i can really relate to them!! great job, i love your poems, ur an amazing writer!!

    Forever*Yours

  • 13 years ago

    by Sandra D

    "My playlist is stuck repeating all of our sad songs
    I wish they wiped away the tears like you once did"
    * i know other people have already said it, but i absolutely love those lines!!! i can really relate to them!! great job, i love your poems, ur an amazing writer!!

    Forever*Yours

  • 13 years ago

    by Natalie

    Aw Darien.. This was really sad. Extremely good. But just very sad.

    I hope you're doing better now. *hugs*

    Love your SMAWCE sister, Natalie!!

  • 13 years ago

    by Cella Bella

    This was amazing. I don't think I've read any of your poems before but now I might have to read them all...
    I loved this poem. It was well written and very powerful. Not to mention, I can definitely relate to it. 5/5

    Cella

  • 13 years ago

    by azii

    So beautifully written!
    Loved it
    Keep up the great work! :)

    Take care

  • 13 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    I really! really love this POEM! AMAZING! :)

    These two lines is very powerful!

    My playlist is stuck repeating all of our sad songs
    I wish they wiped away the tears like you once did

    TC! :)

  • 13 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Wow.. i dont even now what to say.. i absolutely love this poem.. i wish it was longer so i could keep reading lol.. the word choice was perfect.. the way you describe things are great.. almost every line was strong in itself.. the emotion it this poem gives off i think it a lot stronger because it doesnt rhyme.. more focus is put on the words than the flow .. even though was flow was great too.. :D ... i want to say so much more.. lol but i dont know what to say.. i dont really know why i love this poem but for some reason i really do.. i guess it just has that X factor that makes me want to read it over and over again :D

  • 13 years ago

    by BECCA lessTHANthree

    Ok so i know i've commented this poem before but everytime i read it i LOVE IT MORE&MORE&MORE&MORE!!! :]x

    its so perfect.. the flow... the choice of words.. just enough imagery to scketch a picture and still leave room for the readers interpretation.. and just so much other stuff is fantastic about this poem and i really dont know what it is.. but i'm obessesed with it i read pretty much everytime i log on .. lol.. its inspired me to try and write a really spectacular non-rhyming poem like this one.. because up until recently i didnt even like non-rhyming poems but this is just.. WOAH! heh :]x