A Better Place [sonnet]

by m!2235_d_f7!n+!!   Feb 12, 2007


Once was somewhat blind, bur now she can see

Cant win for losing-Nothin but defeat

Tries to escape but it will always be

Wants to hide- cant change the faces she's been beat

No matter how hard you try-without doubt

I want to help but she turns me away

All the time she cries but theres no way out

Somethings wrong; shes not here with me today

But now-a-days i can only ponder

It was a tragic loss and now they cry

Why he did it we can only wonder

And the biggest question is simply-Why??

The way she died was truly a disgrace

Now she has moved on to a better place

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Okay, I'll start off by saying that it was good, I liked it. The storyline was one that draws the typical reader in, depending on what the reader is feeling at the moment. But, you should write it in more of a sonnet format, the rhyme scheme and the line sequencing, and write a specific type of sonnet. Depending on which type you write, the rhyme scheme and formatting will be different.

    But, a lot of people have troubles writing sonnets for their first time, and you have lots of room to improve. Keep it up.

    -Jenna.

  • 17 years ago

    by Milo

    Love it, has style, very provacative, straight to the point, and a wonderful story. keep it up

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