Secerts of the mind

I sit here and stare at the desk,
thinking of today,
yesterday,
and the last few weeks,

all this time has passed,
like swings and roundabouts,
i take a deep breath,
try to hold back the tears,
stuck in my throat,
ready for me to choke upon.

one slip,
and all the tears will fall,
roll down my cheek,
and end on my lips.

every word i say,
is twisted and turned around,
every day i live,
i regret,
yesterday,
today and tomorrow,

as i sit here in the dark,
and look upon my life,
all the dark corners,
you used to fill with light,

now every word,
i wish i could speak,
stays sealed within my lips,
every tear i wish to cry,
stays hidden behind my eyes,
what i once trusted you with,
is now concealed forever.

if there was someone
i would talk to,
it would usually be you,
now the secrets
that have left my lips,
and u said were locked,
in your mind,
have now been opened up,
to the hell of all hells,
and now my soul,
been torn apart.

my heart has no one to talk to,
my mind is concealed in silence,
every thought,
that runs through my mind,
is locked away from you,
just in case u do again,
do what you did do.