Great poem!! You kept a great flow all through out. I loved the last stanza, it was a perfect ending for a well written poem. I think I agree with Brit, Don't edit!! 5/5

marcella

I agree, you shouldnt edit it. itsc ompletely good...i think there was one line that was a bit off flow, but you get right back on flow with the next line so its all good:):)...i liked this poem..very true...and i loved the last couple stanzas...they were my favs/ 5/5

I liked this poem... the rhyme is good yet something bugs me about the flow. One minor typo though... at the very end, it should be "too late" and not "to late". Other then that... great write. 5/5

Wow! i loved this poem!

"My body is failing
This is easy to tell
Wont someone help me
Come and lead me from h e l l?

Shoving the self pity away
Knowing that all this pain I've been dealt
I have only myself to blame
That's why all this pain I have felt."

that was my favorite part...i dont know why but it just was...you're very talented..keep it up!

Wow! i love this poem....it was soooo deep..omg! the only word that really describes this poem is WOW!.. great job!

I love this. Very dark, great ending. Sad story. I really enjoyed reading. Well I expect honest comments from you, so I'll give you the same I expect. This is what I found.

Grabbing at the ground
Heart beating faster than it should
Bruises along my arms
My face dripping with blood.

_ you rhyme the whole poem but this stanza.. why?_

My body is failing
This is easy to tell
Wont someone help me
Come and lead me from h e l l?

_just a grammer mistake won't*_

I guess that's a chance you take
When you stupidly mess with fate
Seems the only problem is
I learned my lesson to late.

_ again grammer too*_

Other than that.. babe this poem was amazing :) That last stanza hit me good. It's my favorite. Again, I enjoyed reading it. I might just add you to my favorites if I see more great work from you. You're rhyming made the poem better, made the flow go smoother, -all except that one of course- You did a great job on this.

Amazing Write

5/5

This was descriptive, whoa. i loved how you put it all together.

5/5 David

I love this one too, you seem so, uhh, i do not know.. but you are a great poet, i like reading your poems they are so good, keep up writing, i love your work! it's so good!!