This poe is very good. I like the part about the tears cutting your cheeks, mostly I like the way it's worded. I also like the way you kinda turned it around at the end. Usually poems like this end saly but you came out defiant.

lot's of love
-Becky

Okay but i'll tell you now that i like my world where it is. good poem

your servant:
david

Wow, haha I loved it! I liked how it was worded. I loved the format you used. It was vry interesting. The was was excellent. The rhymes didn't seem forced at all. I also loved the title it was very different. Well done! =]

Keep writing!
Cayce

Loved the use of words...
loved this part

"These tired eyes sick of mourning
The tears cutting my cheeks
This fever within me burning "

keep it up!