Empty

I looked at you and all I saw was sadness in your eyes,
I never meant to hurt you, to make up all those lies.
It was a bad day, a bad month to be precise,
I look back and see myself, a monster in disguise.

All those times you tried to talk to me, but no, you never could.
Is this all that's left of our love? It used to be so good.
I realize that I was selfish, a real heinous cow,
But I can't change, so what will be done about it now?

You're trying to smile now, though it's killing you inside,
I know that last night, until you fell asleep you cried.
I try to say I'm sorry, for all the lies I've told.
But the pain in your eyes will haunt me until I've gotten old.

Every time you see me now, you turn and walk away.
But here there is no blame; I made you be this way.
I turn to home, and lock the door, sit down in the dark.
Playing with my razorblades, i try to cut out my heart.