Won The Game

I liked this poem, but I'd just like to suggest a few things, I think that if you didn't have 'bare' in the second line of the first stanza, it may flow better. In the second line of the forth stanza, I think the line should read 'And they do not care' instead of 'They don't care', to give the stanza a better rhythm. And lastly, in the second line of the forth stanza, I think that perhaps it may have been better to say 'they've said' instead of 'they have said'. I'm sorry for maybe seeming bossy or controling, but I felt I should share my thoughts, also, that's what I think this site is meant to be about. Anyway, on to brighter things, I thought your poem was great. I loved the idea of the nameless villains. I liked the two-lined stanzas, and the darkness within them. Also, I think it was the perfect length. All in all I thought this was a good piece of work, so I've given it a 4/5.

Brad

P.S. Please feel free to comment on anythin I've said that you may or may not agree with.