Cloudy mind

by StormyStar   Mar 16, 2007


When i look in the eyes of the love i find,
i see how amazing and so Devinne,
the look in your eyes says that your lost,
I'll stand beside you till you find what you want,
although i love you and your cloudy mind,
the tears i hide way deep inside,
won't be seen by a guy so fine,
i can't help but to wander why you don't see,
i love you so much, you should be with me,

the look in your eyes have become so dark,
it's like your hiding something from me I'm afraid to know what,
there is no lightness, not even a spark.
you know what is funny,
that you still have my heart,
i can't let you go it hurts so much,
so you'll always have a little part of my heart.

to see you with her talking and laughing,
brings tears to my eyes that once were filled,
with the love you gave me forever until,
she came back to you and took you away,
best friends forever you said we'd stay,
you see what has happen since she came along,
she took you form me and now we're done,
not even close like we used to be,
i still remember the days you loved me.

your eyes are so dark, why can't i see through,
just like how i used to do.
it's just to hard to be like we we're,
you just say that probably cause of her.
well good bye my friend,
i love you so much but this is the end.
the clouds in your mind have caused you to pretend,
we're not friends we never were,
i mean nothing to you so good bye good friend.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by jLegendc

    Damn.. u won't run oout of words.. nice!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashlee Nicole

    Another lengthy one but good! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    There are grammar mistakes and as good poets we should pay particular detail to the use of grammar and punctuation, but also as poets we should understand the content and emotions within ones work, and the fact that they can overflow the grammar mistakes.
    This poem was sweet, flowed well, had good imagery and made me smile.
    love Tara-Kay
    x

  • 16 years ago

    by nikki

    The flow was a little off the structure was ok, but i rather didn't like this poem, but i have a few fave lines.
    the look in your eyes have become so dark,
    it's like your hiding something from me I'm afraid to know what,
    there is no lightness, not even a spark.

  • 16 years ago

    by Robert

    I know you wanted to say alot in this poem and by doing so I think you lost both the core message and path you wanted to take and the flow was off. I think if you had channel your thoughts and stayed with a certain formula of work this poem would show alot more of your true talents Plot121