Life
by Jennifer Mar 18, 2007
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Bumpy and hard. my life is like a slide. going down i try to hide. scream and cry, i now know my life is a complete lie. sitting here and thinking of the past. what i thought was perfect did not last. before i knew it, it cast me into the darkness. no matter how hard i try i cannot find where the light is. I'm searching and screaming for someone to find me. but for the time being i just sit here crying. |
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18 years ago
by Cheyenne
I like your poem a lot, however the first line needs some rewording and phrashing. Consider adding some cammas and altering some of your words. Everything after the first line flows very smoothly and is well written.
