The Rants of a Madman...

I pretend to be happy, every single day,
But underneath im rusting inside and out.
I never let you see the timid creature,
Broken inside.

You think I am really this cold?
That its not some facade.
When in reality, I cannot stand the frost inside
It kills me, slowly, and I let it rage.

Ive tried to open up, to get them to understand
I was met with a defened silence
in the end they tell me, I focus too much on the bad,
but when its all you have left, its all you can clutch to.

I feel unreal, like I dont exist.
Sometimes I almost forget I am human
And that I am not alone,
However wherever you are I cannot find you.

My god has left me, along with his forgiving church
I am abandoned to desolation when I needed him most.
His angels are no longer near to me,
Unable to find my way through the light.

Maybe I really am happier in the darkness,
Like my friend once said.
Because it accepts all the light has rejected,
And it is the only one who will accept me.

Its shady luminescence, a haven for my soul,
To house all of the secrets, that I cannot control,
A place where judgment cannot touch,
And in my loneliness I can recall.
nothing.