Great job, kid! i liked this a lot. but the stanza :
She's standing wet from all the tears
Inside the living room
Filled with thoughts and memories
That stay too long and come too soon

has a little bit of a flowing problem :/ but other then that great job, i think it should be under sad poems "lost relationshit" and not friendship, falmily. cause it was sad. but other then that i liked it a lot.

and there should be quotations around '5H'

but great job.

Wow I really liked this poem.. the last verse was so powerful and heartbreaking, it reminded me of all the fathers out there that reject their children for no reason. Wonderful I loved everything leading up to it, way to go. Thanx a zillion for your comment. I always look forward to reading them.

Wow..this was really interesting with wide use of creativity..at first i was confused *todays not my day lol* but now i get it...very awsome poem a 5/5

That was an exceptional poem. Very good. Really makes you feel her pain and loneliness. I do have the suggestion to not use the word "so" as much as you do in your first stanza. And....

Empty frames, which once were her

In that line shouldn't it be hers??? Just a typo I thought I'd show you. Thank you so much for all your honest comments by the way, and I like Living In Reverse too..lol...unfortunately I couldn't locate the contest I'd placed in to receive those comments. Could you remind me and tell me what place it was?
Thank you!
Charisma*

Wow, very original, i dont think ive ever seen a poem on this site about something like this...i thought it was beautifully written , although in some places the flow was thrown off, you got it right back:):)...amazing write!!

Wonderfully written.
i really enjoy reading your poems..i love them!
this one got a 5/5 from me.

Wow - That was amazing.

When I read this poem, I was filled with sadness & I was thinking that the girl in the poem must feel so lonely... =[

The flow was flawless, the emotions were raw & strong, and the imagery was good too.

"And that is when she realized
This no longer is her home
And even though she misses him
He's doing fine alone... "

^ My favorite stanza.... You ended the poem wonderfully too! =] You've got a lot of talent, keep writing! 5/5

Stephanie Lynn .+.

That was great.

Wow. Beautifully sad. I love the flow of this and the ending was superb. You did an excellent job on this poem and it definetly deserves to be on the board. Kudos to you!! 5/5

I liked it
heres what I liked:
the last stanza because it ended correctly and felt like it ended
the eighth stanza because i know what it's like to realize your not special anymore in a sence
What you might consider improving on:
Flow
rhythm
forced rhyming
other then that poem was good
5/5 from me

The flow is really nice. It's very well written. You did a great job of describing everything. Your a great writer. 5/5

~Chelsea

Great poem I really liked how you made the house out to be a friend that you are leaving. Its very hard to move into a new home I should know I've moved 4 times lol although my first house will always stay with me in my memory as my closest friend =)

This is definetly one of those poems that has to be written with real emotion to be able to pull it off so well and you have done that brilliantly. So what if there were a few typo's or flow problems. No ones perfect! :]

"And that is when she realized
This no longer is her home
And even though she misses him
He's doing fine alone..."

This just brought the whole poem together and for me ended it with a kind of "BANG!"
All the best,
Bonnie
x

This poem has a fantastic flow to a spectacular ending point that really finishes it off with a good vibe (but sad still) extremely well written! congrats on a fine write!
I'd love it if you checked my poems out and left comments/votes. thanks alot! :D

I loved this poem, I can easily relate to it. I think being able to put these kind of emotions into a poem.. this great, is extremely hard. This poem proves you have talent beyond your years.

In the first stanza, you used "So" two times in the last two lines, I think it kind of threw off the flow, just in that one stanza because there were no other words repeated in the same stanza through-out the poem.

You did a great job, though.
It made me tear up, and brought back many memories.

Keep it up.
<3 Teria.

You made a lot of good imaginary with your words and description of simple thing like tiles, very good. 5/5

You made a lot of good imaginary with your words and description of simple thing like tiles, very good. 5/5

Beautiful work..u've captured emotions well thru this one...sad yet well written...n this one also....the flow was amazing...n the emotions are crystal clearly expressed...fine descriptions too..good job on this one
5/5 as always!
xxPoojaxx

WOW I LOVED IT ESPECIALLY THE HEARTBREAKING PART I DUNNO WHY I LOVED THAT PART SO MUCH I GUESS ITS BECAUSE THATS WHEN IT HIT ME......I LOVED IT GOOD JOB