The description of this poem was brilliant. You did an excellent job creating a picture for the reader. Also I loved how the rhythm seemed to flow seemlessly between lines and stanzas. 5/5

"When it rains again today, no mind will follow me by"
thats i would have to say thats my favorite line lol, i don't know why, i just like it...

anyway i really liked this, and i hop eyour week is going better:) lol. nice work keep it up 5/5

The rhythm seemed to be off. It wasn't bad but it wasn't as smooth as it could be. To help smooth out the flow try and even the syllable counts for each line. Or regulate a certain syllable count for each stanza. I liked the poem and it wasn't bad. 4/5.

This poem is really powerful. Very sad and depressing. And in a way dark. In this line here:

Only the body, yes, the body, a carcass waiting to die

Actually makes the poem more personal. You put great description into this, you painted a beautiful picture in my mind.

I really liked this part here:

What once was painted white now fades along with rain
Feelings come and go but remnants leave its stain

This followed together so smoothly and I liked how the rhymes fight so perfectly together. Some say rhyming aabb aabb over does it. But you pulled it off beautifully..

For some reason this last line doesn't seem to flow or fit:

Still the grey world of tomorrow fades on the sorrow stream

fades on the sorrow stream? maybe fades in the sorrow stream or fades onto the sorrow stream.. I have no idea. It just confuses me.

But other than that darlin' it was lovely. Your rhyming was excellent and the emotion was perfect. Your flow was very very good. Overall a great poem.

You did an excellent job!

5/5

Wow. You did an amazing job with writing this peice of poetry. I really enjoyed reading your poems. Keep up the awesome work. Thank you for commenting my poem and rating it. God Bless 5/5
<3Tayyy

There are some really greats parts in this poem. I love this line: "Only the body, yes, the body, a carcass waiting to die." However, I lost the image you were trying to create at some points, I think you have some unnecessary words in there. Like in the line: "Into the mirror behind I see my face in a pale light." I cannot see the purpose of the word "behind." Maybe try reading your poem out loud and weeding out some places that sound too wordy.

That was such a beautiful poem! I love the way it flowed - so natural. The rhymes were wonderful! Overall a marvelous piece of poetry ^^

This is a great poem, i havnt read anything as good for what feels like ages, great rhymes, great stanzas and great use of words...i love how you have one thing in mind and stay stuck to it and not drift off the subject, your work still blows my mind.
this line was my fave "Feelings come and go but remnants leave its stain" excellent work.

october xx

"Cut like little threads leading downwards to my heart"
That was my favorite line. Very beautful, strong, powerful. I find your words dark and that merely raises my intrest. 5/5.

Beautifully penned. Poetry is one of the best ways to explain to ourselves and to others the deepest emotions that torture the human soul. You captured that well in this poem, and brought emotions to your readers.

That was really a strong poem & the rain itsef either portrays joy or well makes one cry each & every bit of tear...

Keep it up.

Best wishes with this poem for other poems too..

Keep it up

Karan

"Unfeeling dead pondering away through neverending mist". neverending should be never ending.

"When it rains again today, no mind will follow me by" I think that it would sound better if you took "by" off the end of this sentence. It doesn't really seem to fit there very well.

Other then that I liked the poem.
4/5