My Childhood Secret

by ♥*~»cutieladybug«~*♥   Apr 9, 2007


I remember when I was young
I could never fall asleep
I didn't ever want to close my eyes
It's a secret I still keep.
I would never want to be alone
So I always held your hand
But you would get so angry
And make me sleep by your demand.
I would close my eyes and tears would fall
Thinking of things I'd never say
Counting the minutes till tomorrow,
Until there was sunlight in my day.
Nights would pass and I'd wake you
To assure you still had breath
And I would plead that you'd never leave me
That you'd laugh in the face of death
I remember when I would cry
And you would ask me what was wrong
I would look at you and shake my head
And try to be so strong.

Now we're so much older
And no one really knows
But here I am reminiscing
On a door that just won't close.
Every night that it haunts my soul
I would wake up and look around
Afraid of what I might come across
Of what my frightened eyes may have found.
I would reach out to grab your hand
Only to find no one there
And I would cry knowing I'm left all alone
To face my biggest fear
But I don't want to remember
The secrets engraved in my mind
The ones that arouse fear in me
Ones of the worst kind

I still hope that I could tell you
And not be so afraid
Of letting out my biggest secret
But I still hope that it'll fade.
Did you know why when I was five
I didn't say a word?
It wasn't that I didn't try to tell you,
My voice was just not heard.

Did you know when I was five ....

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hiya, I hope you don't mind me re-arranging your 1st stanza. I personally feel that the stanzas would all read alot better like this. Just an idea. What do you think.

    I remember when I was young
    I could never fall asleep
    I didn't ever want to close my eyes
    It's a secret I still keep.

    I would never want to be alone
    So I always held your hand
    But you would get so angry
    And make me sleep by your demand.

    I would close my eyes and tears would fall
    Thinking of things I'd never say
    Counting the minutes till tomorrow,
    Until there was sunlight in my day.

    Nights would pass and I'd wake you
    To assure you still had breath
    And I would plead that you'd never leave me
    That you'd laugh in the face of death

    I remember when I would cry
    And you would ask me what was wrong
    I would look at you and shake my head
    And try to be so strong.

    I liked the content of this work.
    I finally managed to write a poem about a childhood trauma. This trama haunted me for years by manifesting itself into a re-occuring dream. I called it 'sun-rays'
    P.Sthank you for your comments about 'spider hugs' I wrote that song for my son's birthday. I have actually recorded that and it is on you tube.

    Take care 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Mihaela

    This poem is amazing.You managed to describe the same feelings I had in some moments of my life.Congratulations,you have done a very good work.Take care of you.Best regards,Michelle XxX 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by ~#~tHe TeArS bEhInD tHe MaSk~#~

    Man i could only wish to write poems as good as you!! you are def on a my fav author list.

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