Ok, I really loved this poem i was beautifully written the ryhme was amazing and your choice of words Great. This flowed really well. Another great poem by you yet again! ~mel

Wow. The ending was powerful and i love poems that end with the title. The flow was good and seemed to connect well with the rhyming. My only suggestion is perhaps change the structure of the poem into more of a standardized form? It gets easy to lose your place like that. Anywayz, great write. 5/5.

Very sad but briliantly done exclent job

Wow. Such a heartfelt poem!

Kind of sounded like mine?

5/5

Time stands still in seconds,

Love that line, Dear.

Well, the first stanza's were sketchy. It was hard to get in the flow of the poem.

"Bells from the church,
Ring slow and loud.
People gather to the grave,
Family members crowd. "

The syllabication in this verse is off. I suggest you consult your syllable hand and recheck it.

"She always saw it coming,
Her mother ten feet under.
She saw the lightning beforehand,
She predicted the thunder. "

Ingenius verse, but It feels as if you could have worked that verse so well, but in the end it was sort of awe-striking and awful at the same time.

"In her Once upon a Time. "

Beautiful last line, and the problem with it though is that people actually notice grammar, so I suggest that you change it to
"In her Once upon a Time..."
Just to leave the open ended-ness. On the other hand, you could dedicate the/a second to last verses explaining that her once upon a time would be to have her mother back in life and everything back to normal.

Overall, well written poem. I shall give it a 5/5.

Good job,

~Stephen White

WOW WOW!! Awesome poem! very powerful! good job! keep up the good work! I'll give it a 5/5! TC!

BEautiful and very sad!! good imagery and great flow.5/5 keep it up

That was utterly amazing.I love this poem.It flowed smoothly and I could feel that little girls pain.Keep it up!5/5

<3Amber

This was beautifully done! its flow was great, nice use of words another 5/5