Let me the first to vote and comment on your new poem Tara and say that it was fantastic. It was very well penned and I enjoyed it very much. 5/5 and keep up the good work.

I liked that it flowed very nicely, and it was a nice description, i could imagine him well ^^ 5/5

Great job Tara. It gave a very vivid image of him and I enjoyed reading it. Keep it up.
cheers, josh

Fantasic description tara! REALLY awesome how it seems like a short story but form nicely in poem form love it keep it up girl!
Much love,

Verdada

So true and sad...this kinda guys are so spread out in our world..the flow was perfect..but in just a line something broke it

But there is another life
a dreadful life full of sick lies and pain: In the second line if you use something different than 'life',it would be better
My suggestion:A dreadful one that full of lies and pain

Other than that,i really liked it
Keep it up
Have a nice day
Laura

I read this poem twice.
I only found one thing wrong in it.
ECK!
I used to be rough on poems.
But now I'm getting soft.
Sorry.
But still
a dreadful life full of sick lies and pain
you should put commas in there.
Sick, lies, and pain.
It just doesn't flow well without it.
Otherwise
5/5?

No don't put a comma in between sick, lies. i'm giessing you mean lies that are sick. not vomit and lies EWW. *btw i'm referring to above comment.

i think this poem flowed well and was well thought out and penned. xx