Never get my wings

The pain I feel is so real, I don't know what to feel.
Horrible thoughts and madness with in.
I can't stop it; it feels like a sin.
Why do I think of such things?
I know that I will never get my wings.
Terrible thoughts of slaughter, lies, and hurtful times,
I wear a disguise, hiding behind lies.
I feel the tears in my eyes, and then I think that I want to die.
I lie to them; I lie to them all,
About how I'm doing well and I will never fall.
I say that I'm good; I say that I'm well,
When they and I know, I'm going to hell.
The pain gets worse, worse everyday,
Im running out of things to say,
Say to them about my well being,
I can't believe that they arn't seeing.
aren'tw people, who see right through,
But they won't say anything,
They don't know what to do.
There is no help for me,
What it the use,
All this is caused from all that abuse.
All the stuff that happened in the past,
I knew that those memories would forever last.
I'll remember till the day I die,
That my whole life was just a lie.