This place

by Vanessa   Apr 18, 2007


Smoke clouds fill the air in here
The room is choked, with fear
Smoke clouds fill the air in here
Nothing seems clear

Anger is so thick, cut it with a knife
I am not the perfect mother nor the perfect wife
Anger so thick, cut it with a knife
I am so tired of this I want to end my life

Hate has consumed everyone in the room
They are all too focused on the impending doom
Hate has consumed everyone in the room
There is no light shinning though the gloom

I feel no love , a graveyard of souls
Love is something that seldom shows
I fell no love, a graveyard of souls
A barren place, where nothing grows

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hey,
    I know youve placed this peom in the dark section but i could relate it wth depression and for this reason i chose this poem to be the winner of the depression catagorie of the club contest! :)
    I thought it was a really unique read, and your usage of repetition was clear and worked brilliantly. I loved how the first and third line of each stanza was the same, it helped create an amazing flow and it was really quite enjoyable yet very dark. There was quite a lot of emotion in it, which is again why I picked it for the depression category. Congratulations!

  • 17 years ago

    by Rhys

    Haunting, very rich imagery, and very powerful. Beautifully written, although in the first stanza - to me - it seems that the end comes too abruptly, but hey, what do I know? Might just be the rhythm I was reading it in. Anyway, very good poem. 4/5

  • 17 years ago

    by AlaSkA

    Pretty cool. vivid emotions showed here. rhyme shceme is pretty good, and usage of good lines too. i like the no love graveyard one also.

    good write

    tom/5

  • 17 years ago

    by MaSkEdSoUl

    Lots of emotion in this, great flow and good use of repetition.

    "I fell no love, a graveyard of souls"

    You spelled 'feel' wrong, just had to point that out!! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I really like the poem and the way you've written it. I think we all have problems in our lives and there never perfect but we do the best we can with what we have. Excellent job 5/5

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