LOOK BEHIND YOU

by Sab   Apr 23, 2007


"I'm loosing my breath "
"i can't run much longer"
"my heart can't suffer any more"
"but i have to .. to...BE STRONGER"

"this rain is getting heavier by the second"
"it's really slowing me down"
"he's getting nearer to me "
"i can hear him frown"

"No i can see him catching up"
"but why god why??"
"why can't i escape this devil"
"i wish that I'm able to fly"

turning round the corner of a deserted road

"ooh my god "
"what did i do to deserve this"
"why did i got stuck in a death end"
"i can vision his horrid lips"

"saying that he's gonna get me "
"why did i have to look behind me why "
"why didn't i just let him murder me with no fear"
"but why?"

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  • 17 years ago

    by Crying My Angry Tears

    Hmmm I liked how you ended with "But why?", it's dramatic and summarises the whole poem...
    But I think the spelling and grammer of the rest of it really let it down. It might just be me, but I'm really pedantic about stuff liek that, it gets on my nerves [xD]

    I liked the idea of this poem, the whole fear and fleeing motif, but you wrote it pretty poorly.

    Keep writing dude, you got heaps of potential.

    xxx Olivia

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