The Blade

I am aching for the Blade,
Just to slice into my wrist,
Deep in the skin,
And in into my vein,
As I clench my fest

Oh how I long to hurt my self,
Or is it maybe just someone around me?
It will hurt me more if than anyone else if I dont secede,
So I should think it through

Do I really want a scar?
That every time I look it will take me back?
Back to the day I slit my wrist,
Wanting everything to go black?

Would I break down?
Every time I looked at those very scars?
Would I feel Regret and Hate?
Would I feel like I was locked behind bars?

Have I realized yet that this is wrong?
That my scars will with stay,
But my pain will fade,
But only the pain of the scar not the reason,
So I must think this through

Maybe someday I will be happy and moved on,
But will I be hiding the mark?
From my Husband?
My Kids?
Or even my new Friends?
I Couldnt always close the lid

So here is my question to all who see,
A simple Yes or No,
To the Blade for ME?