Could Do It Better

Hey,
Thank you for your comments. I liked your usage of rhyme in this poem. They didnt seem forced at any point, and they created a nice strong rhythem. The flow of the poem was good but i thought it was a little off at times. Thought that the structure of the poem could of been improved a little bit. But i liked your strong display of emotion. Very well done. I liked the reptiiton of "I walk through" in the secound stanza. It didnt seem really dark though... I thought you hsould of used punctuation though. It would of helped teh pace of the poem. But a good read. Keep writing! xx

A nice, simple poem. This was really good, you don't have to try too hard to write a good poem. Lots of good imagery and descripition.