Always lost u... left with only memories...

Seeing back my memories
Since I was the age of 13
Has been a frightful experience
Which anyone could imagine

It was thanks to my lies
That I paid my price
Was being entered in
And then lost my pride

Begins of a wild life
To cover the face of my tears
Only to find that
My wrist bleeds with sadness

Got caught up with flings
And it makes me happy
But being played around
Am left being alone again

My wrist bleeds again
Full of anger and hurt
I cry in pain
But no one heard

Still living my life
With full of hatred
Till he came in
And I fall in love

I was 14 back then
And I started to change
From being in concepts
Till i went back home and prayed

He guide me through
And i really appreciate it
He was a very patient man
Even back then i was naive

10 months passed by
And the Valentine came
He gave me balloons and roses
Which came to an end

Again am being left for no reasons
When i just started to change
Emotions ran through me
And thats where it happens again

The years after that
I only loves to fling
I only love hurting people
To satisfies my needs

There i met him
He lives above me
I thought I could lean on him
Alas, I was being ditched

I was 15 back then
When I started thinking of marriage
Which i get my retribution
For what i did

Still being friends
I lead my life
Full of loneliness
Full of tears that i cried

Knowing what I am now
I know what I want
I just need somebody
To always by my side

I turned 16
Searching for something realistic
Decided on being serious
When the next guy come in

Still yet
went through the hassle
Went being locked up
Just to find the one I love

Flunked my papers
Knock myself up
Cry till no more tears
Just to look for someone to love

Only then again he entered
A part called heart
I force it open
To get the courage to start

I went out with him
And get many happy memories
Till i swear that i know
I really love him

Only to realized
I am being played again
After getting his pleasures
Things started to change

I tried to hold on
But he keeps letting go
I hate his NS friends
And he soon hate the way I am

Being a 17 year old teen
Trying hard being strong
But i was left again
Without reasons at all

My heart shattered into pieces
My memories just fade
My confidence just vanished
Without a trace

Hatred comes in
But i managed to change
I went back my old habits
To cover up my shame

And again I am always being used
And being taken advantage on
Yet I am still living
Trying to find the path i want

Turning 18 soon
I am in love with him
But to try again in the game of love
I need him to guide me
And give me the confidence.