Lasting Lover

Can you tell me why
These pills are in my hand
Why i'm to scared to look at you
Too scared to even stand

I can't look at your face
Without dropping a tear
But please just don't worry
It's my insecurities and my fears

I'm not sure where I'm at
Or why I'm here at all
But all I know is its because of you
That I've made it through the fall

Too many restless nights
And the heartbreak wasn't worth it
But the touching times I spent with you
Was something I'll never regret

I go to sleep thinking
Maybe you think about me, too
I know I dont believe it
But theres nothing I can do

If you decide to move on
I'll hate myself forever
I knew I wasn't good enough
To be your lasting lover