LOVE

by shelbi   May 2, 2007


Love is like putting your arms out,
and thinking your flying;

Like feeling your heart,
falling and falling;

It can turn the world upside down,
it can make feel as if your dying;

It can make you think you wanna die,
make you think you wanna live in The sky;

Its like i cant live without him,
what did i do to make my life so dim;

Why don't he understand,
i guess its just cus hes a man;

I long to have him back,
but all he is, is just another silly act;

Someone who says he loves me,
but then gets up and leaves me;

I thought he was the one,
that made my life complete;

I thought i could trust in him,
but now my life has been beat.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by X Kashies Misery X

    I know what you are trying to say..I think your poem has a good back line to it. That you hafe been hurt, and that you know what love really means. But I think you have gone abit wrong trying to express it. Example
    "Why don't he understand,
    i guess its just cus hes a man;" just because it rymthes doesnt mean it is correct. Men are very sensitive and understanding and intelligent aswell.....i hate it to say it cause ive been hurt so much but they are. Just because of that one boy, doesnt mean u can put a label on all the men in the world.
    "It can make you think you wanna die,
    make you think you wanna live in The sky;"
    You wonna live in the sky? WTF, this doesn't explain what you mean.....
    "I thought i could trust in him,
    but now my life has been bea." I don't think this is a very good last line...
    "Someone who says he loves me,
    but then gets up and leaves me;" I LOVE THIS BIT!!! so good!!
    basically I think you need to remember that peoms dont have to rythme. And I think ytou should think about my suggestions....or the lines I have commented you on....
    sorry that it is so long, but im only just trying to help you..
    good work, you're going well.
    XD

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