The imagery was beautiful. Vey vivid, I felt like I was really there. I love the word choice, gret job 5/5

Hey

In the 2nd verse, one could take it that the bees are gathering the pollen from your ears!! might want to investigate that ^_~.

"Sweet sparkling drops of dew"
"(Hear) Only if you listen carefully" - that should shorten up the 5th verse.
"To end an long exhausting day"
"Come rest your weary mind"
"The swings (here) are waiting for you"

Love the imagery, 4/5 from me - lacks a bit of continuity but the above suggestions should fix a bit of that, I leave the first verse to you ^_~.

Ahh. This took my imagination right into your writing. The imagery was fantastic. I wish a place like this was real where I live,lol. I enjoyed the description most of all. Keep up the great work!

Wow. I really admire your work.. I loved this stanza..

"It the garden of melodies.
A place of peaceful quit,
that only nature design
can make for no other can."

I loved it all, but this really caught my eye, keep writing, and letting me know when you post new ones. I really, really do enjoy reading your work. Very powerful, wonderful imagination. Like Vanessa I felt like I was there, walking peacefully through the garden.

Anyhow, I just posted two if you want to read them, you are welcome to do so. =)

-Ally

Very beautifully penned...vivid imagery...lovely peice!..kp writing!
Tk care!
xxPoojaxx

I loved the imagery and the story you were telling in this, however, I found countless mistakes and typos in this.

First stanza:

"Surrounded in a peaceful heaven." - It should be "surrounded by a..."

Second stanza:

"God this is a beautiful place. - drop "god" it makes the poem sound common.

Where as I walk along fat
bumblebees are buzzing in my ears
while they collect their pollen from little flowers."

Put fat and bumblebees on the same line as currently it sounds like you are walking around fat...also, if you use "buzzing near my ears" instead of " buzzing in my ears", it may make more sense.

Third Stanza:
The imagery in this stanza is lovely but on line three you may want to make it "petals are full of..."

Fourth Stanza: I didn't really understand this stanza at all...
It the garden of melodies. (did you mean "In the garden" or "it's the garden?")
A place of peaceful quit, (it should be "quiet")
that only nature design ("nature's design?")
can make for no other can.

Maybe put "can make" in the same line as "design" as it would make more sense there when read.

Stanza five: I liked the imagery in this stanza as well.
The part that bothered me though was "You can hear it only when one
listens for it carefully." For it to be gramatically correct you should stick to using either "you" or "one," not both...so you may want to reword this.

Stanza six was very nice and written with a relaxing tone.

Stanza seven was nice also. Although on the final line it should be "quiet stream."

Maybe you should proofread your poems or ask someone else to do if for you before you post, because I'm sure some of the errors I've found should have been spotted before.

Nice poem anyway...just needs a lot of looking at grammar and spelling wise.

Wow this is a really good poem. i really enjoyed it. i havent read a poem about nature in soo long nor doing i usually, but i really liked this one 5/5

~Kristina

This was a really good poem, it had very nice imagery. The mood was very somber, and that made the poem so fun to read! I thought it was weird though, how you moved from 4 line verses to five, didn't seem like there was a pattern or anything, but it's still good. Awesome job on this one.

Quit< should be quiet.
Other than that you did a really good job with this poem. I liked it, especially the last stanza. Keep it up. :D

Lovely poem! I can picture how beautiful this place must be. Great word useage to evoke this image! <3

There are thousands of flowers.
Growing tall from the rich soil.
Their petals full of color and
sparkling with sweet drops of dew.
[[Beautifully penned.]]

You can hear it you are quiet.
[[You can hear {when} you are quiet. OR
You can hear it{;} you are quiet.]]

Now, I liked this. The discription was very strong, however I did not like the ending paragraph. Hm. Stop using "lush" in every poem. =] I used to do that with "ecstasy"; their are other words. =] Lmao.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

Some of my best thoughts and ideas have come from gardens which were just like you explained them. thank you for giving back the thrill of a peaceful retreat.

your servant:
david