A letter to him

Hey the one i can never have,

I know that probably none of this letter is going to mean a thing to you but, I need to get it off of my chest. As you already know I miss and love you and dont forget I always will. Nothing is ever going to change what we had it sticks with me and always will for eternity, just as you will. I know that I made my mistakes and its hard, and it will be. I just want to forget about you forever and ever but its not that easy. Forgetting about the laughs, the memories, the hard times and even the fun times.it hurts me inside to even think about forgetting all of this, but most of all the part that hurts the most is forgetting you all together. I love you and forgetting some one who makes me feel good just thinking about him, or whose eyes make me melt every time I look at him, whose smile makes my knees shake. Whose warm body against mine takes me to a place never to be known again. Whose kiss is like an angel, whose voice so gentle and so sweet never to be heard again. Whose breathe is my every breathe. I just cant forget the person that makes me live everyday. His kiss is my kiss; his heart beat is my heart beat. Forgetting someone like that is not that easy, why cant I just forget you?? I remember why now its because you are my first love and also my last. I am sorry but I will never forget you. I know that none of this means a thing to you but I have realized what I lost because I made the mistake of sex instead of love. I guess when I had your love I just didnt see it.did it slip out of my life just like that? I know that something like what I did is never to be forgiven but mistakes make love real. Ive tried to erase every part of you but the scar left behind will always remain. I walk in the doors they tell me to smile. They say I should be happy and all I can do is ask how..how can I be happy when all I can do is think about how I lost you. Everyday people ask me what I am scared of.?.?. Me? I am scared of what I saw, what I did and most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and loosing you forever!! I guess this is all coming to how I messed up and I regret it and always will. I am reminded of this every time I see a happy couple together. Loosing you was just like writing your name on a foggy window and watching it fade away. I know I should move on so that I will quit hurting myself but its so hard to let you go, I guess I will hold on forever and ever. Loosing you made me realize how much I love you. I think we should move on together as if nothing ever happened. I dont want to loose you again. I dont want to say good-bye because good-byes are forever and I cant live without you. chris I love you and I am sorry that it had to be the way it is. I hope that you can accept all of the things I have said because they are all 100% true. I love you and I would do anything for you I would take a bullet to the head for you!

Love Always and Forever
Holly