Yes its me awake again
Writing this poem with paper and pen
Looking at the stars while laying in bed
Voices in my mind telling me that I should be death
Voices that keep me awake whole night
Stars shining ow so bright
Looking at the sky laying in bed
The stars are gone are they death
As death as these voices want be
Or maybe as death as I should be
Nobody knows that I am this way
I tell you anonymously ill never meet you anyway
I dont need a pill
Because they will
Only kill
My braincells and make me go insane
But I already am
so what now??
DEATHS A GIFT, my birthday is 13 march so please.....
The short poem
Even the happiest man will eventually drown in sorrow...
Even the tallest mountain will eventually break down...
Even the smartest man will eventually do a stupid thing...
Making things only to vanish...
But when all this happens were will I be...
Sitting here looking out the window to only see...
How this world around me...
Gets swallowed whole only to leave nothing...
why cant I fly away, If I only had wings...
Falling asleep but cant wake up
Waking up seeing the ceiling...
Sitting upright seeing the wall...
Today will be the worse day yet...
Today will be the day Ill be death...
Something changes my point of view...
Probably you, who would ever knew...
All this time I was searching...
I was searching for you...
But I just could find...
Because I was searching in the wrong direction...
All this time I was searching so far...
But all I had to do was look under my own nose...
Now its to late I'm already broken and torn apart...
Now its broken and nobody can heal my heart...
Not even you...
So sadness fills me up...
Never to stop...
Once I will drop...
Because my sadness has overflowed my life and put me in a shadow...
A Shadow dark and my whole life to spend...
Now its over this is the end...
Is it???
I'm asleep but cant wake up...
1...2...3... life ain't that pretty
Station after station...
Coming out off nothing...
One by one...
Where am I going...
When will this end...
Crash...Heartbreak...
Again and again...
Just like the stations one after the other...
Out of nothing do they even care...
If only I could heal myself...
When will this end...
Probably when I die...
So when will that be...
will it be tonight...
Crash after crash...
Heartbreak after Heartbreak...
Voices speaking...
Speaking in my mind...
And I'm just wondering how would it be...
I'm sitting in the subway to death...
I cant get out...
Yesterday...
Everyday...
Sadness...
Illness...
Angry...
Mad...
Sorrow...
Unprepared...
I'm...
Confused...
I'm...
Death...
Anyway...
Laying here in my bed...
Saying
I had something that I wanted to confess...
But you wouldn't listen as always...
Now its a little bit, a bit to late...
Because you only ignored me only showed me hate...
Can't you see I'm falling...
In a bottomless pit and calling...
Calling out your name...
Closing my eyes...
Exposing all my lies...
Probably the first who dies...
So its time for changes...
For cleaning of my soul...
Washing away the sins that i have made...
I will cry, for I'm drowning in sorrow...
Waiting with a crucified soul...
Inserting needles in my brain
Laying down feeling all this pain...
Laying down going insane...
Don't be confused...
I will lose...
Everything...
Come to think of it
Simple life...
Broken knife...
Difficult choises we make everyday...
Taxes and bills we have to pay...
Walls to walk around and walls to spray...
What will decide how I will end...
What will decide how my life is spend...
I just cant understand...
Is my life already written...
Is it written the way I want...
Probably not because life sucks...
From beginning to end all the way home...
Never stop loving...
But I stopped before I started living...
Just wanted to change the way you guys are thinking...
Complicated life...
Bloody knife...
downside up...
upside down...
choking on air...
breathing underwater...
falling up...
flying down...
downside up...
upside down...
walking on water...
swimming trough the ground...
Hearing light...
seeing sound...
light of shadows...
shadows of light...
What is up what is down...
downside up...
Upside down...
Simplicity
Standing on the top of the stairs looking down....
Scared to fall and to drown...
Drowning in a pool of blood from myself...
Reading a book which I just grabbed from my bookshelf...
Its a book about things I never had...
Its about a person who makes me glad...
Walking down, down the stairs...
Drowning in my own blood is this one of my nightmares...
Cant control my own mind...
Cant find out why I just cant remind...
Spending so much time in this endless circle of falling in love and being broken again...
Trying to find out when...
This will end...
SO
Broken to pieces and torn apart...
Felt my life collapsing part by part...
Why god damn it why???
