It's a beautiful 1..very good write..powerful...well described
"cruel laughter, a madman departs
a young protege, wisdom imparts"
beautiful lines...great visual imagery is filled in the poem...Good wrk!
Nice one mate, a real good read, loved the transition between the darkness and the happier times. Really worked, in a kinda morbid, depressing, suicidal kinda way.
5/5 from me.
oh, and good to see another poem from you, not seen one for ages.
I liked how you went from happy to dark.
Flow was flawless throughout the entire poem, the imagery used created vivid pictures and the word choice is enjoyable.
The only thing I can suggest is to try and eliminate some of the fillers.
Apart from that, I love this.
this is really creative
I thought this poem had alot of originallity
I think that you are a very talented writer David
keep it up!!
This poem was fantastic!
10/5 if I could
but i guess a 5 will have to do
Excellent. Really enjoyed reading a mans perspective on this subject. Its something that has never fazed me, but i can understand how it would other people. Remember the only certain thing in life is death. Keep writing mate. Im new at this so hope this does not cause any offence. Jade
Wow that was amazing... you have a way with words, and everything in this poem flowed so nicely... the imagery in that poem was excellent... 5/5 from me, and thanks so much for the comment, i really appreciate it!