Comments : The dream in which i'm dying

  • 13 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    It's a beautiful 1..very good write..powerful...well described
    "cruel laughter, a madman departs
    a young protege, wisdom imparts"
    beautiful lines...great visual imagery is filled in the poem...Good wrk!
    Kp writing!
    xxPoojaxx

  • 13 years ago

    by Monica AKA Mika

    OMG that was so...so....omg i cant even put into words how much i love this poem! i have to add it to my favorites!

  • 13 years ago

    by Black night

    Nice one mate, a real good read, loved the transition between the darkness and the happier times. Really worked, in a kinda morbid, depressing, suicidal kinda way.
    5/5 from me.
    oh, and good to see another poem from you, not seen one for ages.
    -Black night-

  • 13 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Cool poem. I liked how you set it up. 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Lost Soul 691

    Excellent flow to this write. Reality mixed with the memories from the past. A truly believable write.

  • 13 years ago

    by ImNotPerfect20

    Powerful Write!!
    Great Job.
    Good flow and it rhymed also
    This was really sad but great work.
    5/5!

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I liked how you went from happy to dark.
    Flow was flawless throughout the entire poem, the imagery used created vivid pictures and the word choice is enjoyable.
    The only thing I can suggest is to try and eliminate some of the fillers.
    Apart from that, I love this.

  • 13 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Amazing imagery, the whole life flashes before the final thoughts. Excellent work.

  • 13 years ago

    by Kaila

    Woah..
    this is really creative
    I thought this poem had alot of originallity
    I think that you are a very talented writer David
    keep it up!!
    This poem was fantastic!
    10/5 if I could
    but i guess a 5 will have to do
    love always
    Your servent
    kaila

  • 13 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    "darkness, death, the waiting, all bad
    a horrible dream, but the best i ever had"

    Oh , I love it . Abso-freaking-lutely love it . It portrays both the good and the bad in life . And the ending was just perfect .
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 13 years ago

    by Boy

    Very good use of words. and ryming scheme was also nice. flow of owrds was so good. take care

  • 13 years ago

    by jade sturdy

    Excellent. Really enjoyed reading a mans perspective on this subject. Its something that has never fazed me, but i can understand how it would other people. Remember the only certain thing in life is death. Keep writing mate. Im new at this so hope this does not cause any offence. Jade

  • 13 years ago

    by Stephanie

    "a gun shot, the silence breaks
    pictures of friends, birthday cakes"

    ^ Oh wow. That was purely wonderful. The emotions were strong & powerful. & the imagery was so vivid - I could picture everything in my mind. You really are a talented writer, keep it up! =] 5.5

    Stephanie Lynn .+.

  • 13 years ago

    by Lemon Square Bear23

    Wow David that was really gppd i loved the flow in it. good job
    Kate~

  • 12 years ago

    by Sara

    Wow that was amazing... you have a way with words, and everything in this poem flowed so nicely... the imagery in that poem was excellent... 5/5 from me, and thanks so much for the comment, i really appreciate it!

  • 12 years ago

    by Jade

    This is an awesome poem.
    You've got talent.
    Keep going.
    Jadee.
    :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Kayla

    Ive been reading your poems and For some reason, i just connect to them, your really good

  • 12 years ago

    by littlemissxsunshine

    Very stong
    i lvoe it
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by chind

    Wow this is an awesome as poem
    i could visualise the poem in my mind (Y)
    its great powerful words.
    =D
    5/5

    xo.louiiii

  • 12 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    Wow, this was so touching...... i really love the way you came up with this idea, it was so unique. a 5/5 from me as u really deserve it. keep it up